Current mood:	content
Current music:	Beethoven Piano Concerti with Szell & Fleisher

A Day to Remember...
February 5th, 2009 will be a day to remember.

I finally received my green card from the US government. It took us so many trying years... no one will understand what a relief this is for me. This is a TREMENDOUS news for myself and for my family. I should really be jumping up and down, but it hasn't quite sunk in yet. I wasn't expecting to get it to be honest, especially so soon... this is a rather huge surprise to me.


I've been mentally preparing myself for the worst for the longest time... every single day I'd sit there and imagine what it would be like if I were to get deported... it would have meant possibly throwing away my music career, going back to Korea and joining the military for 3 years. And there's no doubt in my mind they would have sent me to the DMZ to walk on land mines looking for Kim Jong Il taking a stroll in his backyard (DUH). Actually, I don't know what I would have done, but I've wondered from every angle possible. It would have been horrible, that's all I know. It's been quite scary and stressful the last 15 years waiting for this day. I think it will take some time before it finally sinks in that I'm "safe". Technically I was "out of status" for a couple years there, but the letter we received made it so that those years are now "legal" again. WHEW.

I actually got blacklisted by the Korean army last month because I was supposed to report in when I turned 18. And it's been some time since then... I've been running down to the Korean embassy in LA the last couple months trying to figure out what to do. And let me tell ya, it wasn't fun talking to the bitchy ladies trying to tell me I'm screwed. I probably would have been in REALLY bad situation if I had not gotten my permanent residency from the US. I don't even want to know what would have happened to me.

In any case, it's a done deal as far as I know. We have a green card which expires in 2019, and we can apply for U.S. citizenship sometime before the residency expires. This also means my brother can finally apply for medi-cal and other things for his condition... this is a huge huge huge WONDERFUL news. I'm trying to accept the fact that the wait is finally over. But it's hard. This is all very surreal to me. I've had this dark cloud over me for so many godawful years. Not that all my problems are gone, but this lifts SO MUCH weight off of my shoulders, I should really be celebrating like a madman.

It didn't hurt that I also got to witness the greatest regular season Lakers game on the same day. I swear, I almost had a stroke watching Lakers vs. Celtics going into overtime. It was an UNBELIEVABLE game and I couldn't stop shaking. I never scream at the TV anymore (I've seen it ALL, I haven't missed a game since the '95 season) but I did last night. It takes a LOT to get me excited.  A-dirty-gritty-hard-earned-1-point-overtime-road-win-vs-Celtics-in-Boston did just that for me last night.  That game was something special.

This is my death week of the quarter. I'm running both rehearsals for the UCSB Symphony this week on Monday and Wednesday, then I have the reading orchestra session on Thursday right after. At the moment I'm trying to finish learning Brahms' 2nd symphony for the university orchestra and the the last 2 movements of Beethoven 5 for the reading orchestra as well as the Vaughan Williams' Wasps overture. This is the most conducting assignments I've had in this short period of a time. I've no clue how I'm going to squeeze in my piano repertoire in the next few days. The Barber sonata is NOT a joke. It is by far the most difficult music I've had to learn in a long long time. I think once I learn the notes it will be fun to play... but it is NOT easy trying to grasp the unusual rhythms and harmonies.

I've decided to go ahead and apply to Pierre Monteux School. Now that I have my legal status back I can apply for federal loans again. That means I have to make my audition DVD NOW as well as making audition recordings on BOTH piano AND violin--they want me to play at least 3 standard excerpts for the violin... I've no clue what I'm going to play. This is all due in a week.

I have no idea why I'm here and how it all happened, but I'm grateful for everything that I have at this moment. I would never ever complain to anyone that my life is boring... if anything it is too intense. And I fuckin' love it.

I know exactly how you feel Kob'.